Impermanence

https://rockchukkar.blogspot.com/2023/01/impermanence.html 

The Change In Me - Casting Crowns - Lyric Video

Henry mountains mule deer 2015

Mule Deer Fighting in the Rut in Utah

Waiting for Time to Pass

Working through the drudgery of the day

It is difficult to see the hands of the clock

As they crawl slowly around the dial. Slowly,

Almost imperceptibly.

I endure the task at hand without joy

It would be so nice to have it done

And out of my way and then, I would be able to enjoy

My day.

I hurry through each opportunity looking 

Wishing, wanting, hoping, for the next big thing

To come to me so that I can escape what I think

Makes me unhappy.

There are times when something anticipated

Weighs upon your thoughts and hampers 

Your ability to focus on and appreciate the opportunities

Of today.

Finally, that anticipated moment arrives,

You examine your thoughts about it

And marvel at how it was so anticipated and how,

It came so quickly.

What is most amazing about it's arrival is how 

You begin to anticipate what is coming next

And, you fail to take the present anticipated opportunity

And savor it.

It's All in Your Head! (An Allegory)

A while back, I went for a bike ride and as occasionally happens, I came upon another cyclist who was ahead of me and out for a ride too.  It was a beautiful day.  I had been enjoying the countryside, the smells, the feel of the air on my skin and just chugging along getting a relaxing workout.  I really like cycling.  I like to read about cycling races.  I look at pictures from the Tour de France and other bike races and I am impressed that these athletes can do what they do.  You could say that in many ways I, with my body of a Clydesdale horse, wish I could be like them and go all day.

So, while I may look like this on my bicycle as I poke along on my bike, because of who and what I idolize, I see myself as this:

Getting back to my story...  

My unsuspecting target continues to ride along ahead of me.  I am no longer out for a relaxing ride, I am out for victory and this person is now my competition.  I shift myself in my saddle, push a little harder and pretty soon, I am gaining on the guy.  The dialogue in my head begins and I start calculating how long it will take for me to overtake my competitor.  Eventually, I do overtake him and smugly call out hello just as I come into his field of vision.  To my disappointment, he is wearing headphones and doesn't seem too startled as I motor past him.

I smugly praise myself as I continue forward that I am a better cyclist than he is because I just owned him back there.  I don't think about what it is that he may be out doing while he is riding his bike and that he obviously has his own agenda for his ride and none of it includes me; and, if he is smart, he'll not allow himself to get sucked into whatever he perceives me as doing or thinking as I ride by.

I like to ride up Mt. Graham for one hour and to see how far I can get up the mountain.  Well, I used to like to try it.  A while back, I was plugging along fighting the good fight with the immutable law of gravity and as I would take a look back now and then, I noticed a van slowly coming up the straight away down by the prison.  I could barely make it out and could not figure out why it was going so slowly.

Eventually, I noticed a cyclist in front of the van.  SHE was gaining on me.  I, being the fine physical specimen that I am, pushed as hard as I could.  But, you just can't change the laws of physics and pretty soon she passed me.  As she continued onward, the person in the van stopped to chat with me for a few minutes.  As my breathing slowed and I could ask questions, I found out that I had not lost my mind.  She WAS riding a cheap single speed Wal Mart bicycle!  The driver was her mother.  The young lady was a competitive cyclist and had decided to ride this cheap bike up every mountain she could find that was over 10,000 ft. and had a road on it.

Needless to say, I have not tried my gravity defying feat since.  Something had changed for me that day and I still have not recovered.

'

What We Each Need

I cringe at the poor feelings I think you have about me.

I want your esteem to be as always.

Yet, it appears that you see me as flawed.

Look into my heart.

Am I a better or a worse man than I ever was?

I came to this spot trying to be unafraid of the truth.

I decided that it was the most important thing to me.

I realize that sometimes the truth isn't what we want to hear.

However, it is what I needed to hear.

I could not live with myself if I knew I had ignored it.

Now, I've come to this point in my life

Where I cannot regress 

From the things that I know.

Can you fault me for being brutally honest within myself?

Are you aware of what pain this search brought me?

Compassion and understanding are what each person seeks.

As we give, hopefully we will each receive.

It is easier to marginalize and see other people as less-than-human

Than it is to seek to understand what needs they have that are not being met.

Don’t we have a duty to love our neighbors as ourselves?

Are we Levites or Samaritans?

When we see the man who fell among thieves 

Do we travel on the far side of the road?

Is it easier to say that a man deserves his fate

Than to help him see beyond it?

If I’m a better person because of my search, 

Then be happy for me.

If I’m worse, please be patient with me.

I’ll try and give you the same leeway

And see you are a work in progress too.

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